Driven By Divorce
This week’s Five Minute Friday writing prompt is: DRIVEN
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Setting my timer for five minutes, and . . . GO.
I don’t like to sit in the backseat of any car. I get incredibly tired and fall asleep for the duration of the ride or I get nauseated. I don’t like to drive the car either. Too stressful. Too much pressure. But I really feel confident in the passenger seat. I can see what’s going on, I’m not so sleepy or sick that I can’t direct the driver, and I can see any dangers ahead.
Divorce relegated me to the back seat. Driven against my will to a place I didn’t want to go, feeling sick and tired and overwhelmed by how fast the scenery was whipping by. Completely out of control, and fearing the decisions of the driver. Worried that he would take this bandwagon all the way to the courthouse and divorce me.
In an action movie, I would be able to overtake the driver with my brute force and cause him to stop the car. Pullover for Heaven’s sake and let’s talk about this crazy destination. Slow this thing down! But I couldn’t stop the car- no matter how hard I prayed, cajoled, and tried to hurry up and fix things.
Stuck in that backseat of my divorce I was far from the comfort of the passenger seat. No longer could I depend on the safety I once felt there. That the driver was taking care of me. That he saw and heard me. No longer was I walking next to him, but in his rear display. Events had been set into motion and the passenger seat was empty.
The comfort zone was closed and I was trapped in limbo. The unfamiliar, unexpected, and terrifying trajectory of my marriage reached the courthouse and I walked out a divorced woman.
Sitting in the passenger seat once again I looked at my new driver- a faithful friend and asked, “what now?” I was speaking of my life. My future. My new path forward.
“Now we eat pizza,” she said with a straight face.
I breathed a sigh of relief that for a little while I could be back in the passenger seat. I didn't have to make the very next decision after that draining day.
God had allowed my divorce but he wasn’t leaving me alone in that back seat. A new day with new possibilities. Alongside He who had never left and would always hold me securely in His hand.
Psalm 91:14-16- Because she holds fast to me in love, I will deliver her; because she knows my name. When she calls to me, I will answer her; I will be with her in trouble; I will rescue her and honor her. With long life I will satisfy her and show her my salvation.
*(ESV, pronouns changed to 'she')