When You Need More Time: Five Minute Friday

Linking up with #fiveminutefriday today. Five minutes of uninterrupted writing...no editing. No overthinking. Just write! Today's word is: MORE. I constantly feel like I need MORE TIME. More time with my grandma who suffers from Alzheimer's. More time with my ex-husband who abruptly left our marriage and ministry. More time with family. More time with friends. With community. More time for prayer and delving deeper into God's Word. More time for walking, exercising, cooking healthy meals, shopping for sales. More time for sleeping. For napping. For relaxing my mind. There just isn't enough time! So how can I get MORE? In the late 90s I traveled with a choir from my church youth group. We wen

I Probably Don't Need Your Help, Right?

Life as a pastor's wife can be lonely. Surrounded by many; known by few. Attempting to fly under the radar, pick up slack behind the scenes, and be everything to everyone, can create an invisible barrier between yourself and other women. Authenticity is not always encouraged among those in church leadership. This long-lasting isolationism almost convinced me that your help is not necessary anyway. I've got things all figured out, right? I probably don't need you, and admitting that I do might mean that I'm weak? Or useless? Or not fulfilling my purposes for God correctly? The term "community" was not one I had heard until I moved back to Michigan. It sounded like an awkward, feel-good group

When It's Time to Change Your Tune: Five Minute Friday

Linking up with #fiveminutefriday today. Five minutes of uninterrupted writing...no editing. No overthinking. Just write! Today's word is: SING. I've always been reluctant to"change my tune" as the saying goes. If I were to change my tune on any number of topics, that would suggest that I could possibly be wrong about something? No. That's not possible. Me? Wrong? Nah. In fact, I'm such a perfectionist that I can't recall a time in recent memory that I changed my tune, or even considered doing so. Five years ago in the midst of my heart-wrenching, soul-sucking divorce- Someone changed my tune FOR ME. Psalm 40:1-3- I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew m

Growth by Trials? No thanks God.

In sixth grade I was diagnosed with a growth hormone deficiency. My doctor was convinced that without daily shots of extra hormones, I was doomed to be only 4' 9'' as an adult. With great resistance (and many irrational tears) I began to endure this vicious tiny needle attack. I had been vastly shorter than my peers all my life. I was never going to be Cindy Crawford. What was the point of this barbaric course of action? No thanks. I don't want to grow that way. Isn't this what we often say to God? No thanks God, I'd prefer to grow my faith without the presence of trials. I'd like to become as faithful as Paul, Moses, Sarah, or Abraham without any hardships. But all of these men and women en

That Time I Realized I Was An Immature Believer

Spiritually speaking, I am 25 years old. In 1992 when I turned my heart over to God, I was just a twelve-year-old following the Holy Spirit's leading. I didn't know anything about authentic spiritual growth or how to be intentional in my walk with God. By nature I am a rule follower. Tell me the parameters and I will follow them to the point of insanity. Wear these clothes... Listen to this music... Say these words when you pray... Read the Bible like this... Do this...don't do this... At a young age I believed these were the only markers of spiritual growth. Mature Christians follow these rules. Right? Another one of these rules is: Don't ever get divorced. Unfortunately, I am divorced. Man

When is Enough, Enough?: Five Minute Friday

Linking up with #fiveminutefriday today. Five minutes of uninterrupted writing...no editing. No second-guessing. No overthinking. Just write! GO! A few things I can never get enough of: Chocolate. Any kind. All kinds. Sunny days. Bodies of water to view and enjoy. Time with friends and family. Chris Pratt...yep. For real. (Have you seen his Instagram series, 'What's My Snack"?? Hilarious!) Prison Break (this show is back now, if you haven't heard!) 80s music- Madonna, Tears for Fears, The Bangles... A few things I have FAR too MUCH of: Stressful work situations with students or parents. Longing for things I don't have. Worry. Fear. Discontentment. Mostly all about the unknowable future... Th

Time to Grow Up Part 2: Beyond Bible Reading

In March of 2011 I was just your average Bible college graduate. Married to a youth pastor for nine years. Leading Bible studies. Mentoring teenage girls. Encouraging the parents of teens. Criteria for a youth pastor's wife? Check. I was perfectly unaware that my faith was shallow. My predominately legalistic world view gave me the peace of mind that all was well. I was doing all of the things I was supposed to do. Make disciples? Check. Read the Bible? Check. Pray every day. Check. Encourage the youth pastor? Check. Go to church three times a week? Check. Check. Check. Walking through a spiritual fog can have dire consequences when the mist abruptly clears, and you find out you've been on a